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Tattoo U-nit A guy goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a hundred-dollar bill on his penis. Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why he would possibly want that. ''Three reasons. I like to ... 1 2 3 4 5	As Big Ass Ted and his wife were working in their garden one day when Ted looks over at his wife and says: "Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big! I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue." With ... 1 2 3 4 5
Speech To The Deaf Society An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are all to give speeches to the Deaf Society. All are keen to make an impression on their audience. The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his ... 1 2 3 4 5	A Texan With Plenty To Shout About A Texan went to Chicago and thought he would buy a new "city" outfit. He went into Marshall Fields and when asked by a sweet young woman if she could help him, answered, "Yes ma'am, ya see, I'm from ... 1 2 3 4 5
Doing The Laundry A young couple got married. On their honeymoon, they were very anxious about having sex because they were both virgins. Because of their sexual inexperience, they were a bit uncomfortable discussing ... 1 2 3 4 5	A Lifetime Of Sex 1.) The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon, you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face. 2.) The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage, ... 1 2 3 4 5
Adult Poem About Overtime Oh Husband, Dear Husband, I tremble with fear. You've been on overtime almost a year, And since you are gone, till way late at night A good piece of ass seems way out of sight. ... 1 2 3 4 5	Dating A Prostitute A guy is on a date with this girl, so he takes her to Lover's Lane. When they get up there, she says, "I have to be honest with you, I'm a hooker." The guy thinks about this for a short time and says ... 1 2 3 4 5
Pregnant Nudist A young girl hadn't been feeling well, so she went to her family doctor. The doctor ran some tests and then told her she was pregnant. The girl said, "I can't be! The only men I've been around ... 1 2 3 4 5	Gay Flight Attendant I once was on a plane where I was served by an obviously homosexual male flight attendant. At one point, he bounced over to where I was sitting and announced "The Captain has asked me to announce that ... 1 2 3 4 5
Talking Parrot A guy decides he'd like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop. After looking around he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says out loud, "Geez, I wonder ... 1 2 3 4 5	Unlocking The Door John and Jill were about to go into his apartment, and before he could open his door, Jill said, "Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door." John says, "Well, ... 1 2 3 4 5
Hiding Place The doc told a man that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it." He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do ... 1 2 3 4 5	At The Counsellor's Office A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counsellor. The counsellor asks the wife what is the problem. She responds "My husband suffers from premature ejaculation." The counsellor ... 1 2 3 4 5
Jeeves, Take Off My Dress A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The woman of the house decided to give their butler, Jeeves, the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late, and that he should ... 1 2 3 4 5	Sex Contest At Local Gas Station Two guys drove to a gas station for a fill-up because they heard about a contest being offered by the station to patrons who purchase a full tank of gas. When they went inside to pay, the men asked ... 1 2 3 4 5
New In Town A man, new in town, goes to the best brothel in the city. Choosing the best looking girl in the place, he retires to a large and well-appointed suite, where he has some of the best sex of his life. ... 1 2 3 4 5	The Fly In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. The hot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, "Gosh... if I go down three inches I will feel the mist from the water and I will ... 1 2 3 4 5
Finding A Good Husband A woman who had been twice married and divorced was fed up. Her first husband was violent, and her second husband ran off with another woman. Plus, she couldn't find a new lover who could satisfy ... 1 2 3 4 5	I'm Sorry Mr. Sam A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Sam, who was about to be cremated, ... 1 2 3 4 5
Condom Sizing A man walked into the drugstore and shyly asked the pretty girl working there if he could buy some condoms. Seeing his discomfort, the girl decided to have some fun. She asked what size he ... 1 2 3 4 5	The Rodeo Position Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions. One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best." "I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the ... 1 2 3 4 5
Coming To Heaven One day little Susie went into her back yard and found her dog Muffles lying dead with its legs up in the air. She asked, "Daddy, Daddy, why are Muffles legs in the air?" Thinking quickly, ... 1 2 3 4 5	Superheroes In Action Superman is flying through the sky on a bright sunny afternoon when all all of a sudden he spies Wonder Woman laying on the ground with her legs apart. He decides to fly down and do the dastardly deed ... 1 2 3 4 5