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Golf With Transvestite A fellow has a week off from work and decides to play a round of golf every day. First thing Monday morning, he sets off on his first round and soon catches up to the person in front. He sees ... 1 2 3 4 5	The Blonde And The Farmer The old farmer was having a pretty bad year. All of his crops had been lost. Fortunately, the peach orchard had done really well. The only way he was going to make it financially was to cut out the ... 1 2 3 4 5
Sex Poem Roses are red, Pickles are green, I love your legs, and what's in between Kissing is a habit, Fucking is a game, Guys get all the pleasure, Girls get all the pain The ... 1 2 3 4 5	Going To Heaven Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her cat Tiddles lying on the ground with its eyes shut and its legs in the air. She fetched her Dad to look at Tiddles, and on seeing the cat he said, as ... 1 2 3 4 5
Nun Going to Chicago This nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down waiting for her flight and she looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune. So she thought ... 1 2 3 4 5	Tough Life A cucumber and a pickle are having a conversation and the pickle says to the cucumber, "You know my life really sucks. Whenever I get big, fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings over me and stick me ... 1 2 3 4 5
The 59 Axioms Of Love Making Axiom (n) A self-evident or universally recognized truth a maxim The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings. Nothing improves with age. ... 1 2 3 4 5	Condom Sizing A man walked into the drugstore and shyly asked the pretty girl working there if he could buy some condoms. Seeing his discomfort, the girl decided to have some fun. She asked what size he ... 1 2 3 4 5
Many Uses Of Vaseline A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet. He said, "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used ... 1 2 3 4 5	Little Johnny And His Brother So, one Saturday morning, Johnny wakes up early and goes to his parents room to wake them up. Finding the door closed, he opens it only to find Mom and Dad having wild sex. He realizes he's done something ... 1 2 3 4 5
Pumpkin Lover Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year-old white male resident of Wilmington, NC, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday. Davidson will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, ... 1 2 3 4 5	Sean And Kylie Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson, and bragged that despite his 72 years of age, he could still have sex three times a night. Kylie Minogue, who was also a guest, looked intrigued. After ... 1 2 3 4 5
At The Anatomy Class A woman enroled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what ... 1 2 3 4 5	Defending Her Honor One evening a husband comes home to his apartment very roughed up. When his wife sees him she asks, "What happened to you?" "I got into a fight with the apartment manager." "Whatever for?" ... 1 2 3 4 5
Hiding Place The doc told a man that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it." He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do ... 1 2 3 4 5	Nudist Camp A young boy had been taken for his first visit to a nudist camp by his parents. He was surprised at the different sizes of the male organs and mentioned it to his father. The father, being rather ... 1 2 3 4 5
I Want You To Take Off My... A woman calls her husband into the bedroom. "Now Mike, I want you to take off my blouse!" "Good.." "Now I also want you to take off my Bra." "Good..." "Now can you take off my panties." ... 1 2 3 4 5	Condom Slogans 1. Cover your stump before you hump 2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker 3. Don't be silly, protect your willy 4. When in doubt, shroud your spout 5. Don't be a loner, cover your ... 1 2 3 4 5
Abstinence Three couples went to see a minister to find out how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. ... 1 2 3 4 5	Golf On The Sly A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, ... 1 2 3 4 5
Santa Visit It is around Christmas time and Santa is sitting in the middle of the mall in his big holiday setup. He has a line of kids lined up to sit on his lap and tell him what they want for Christmas. ... 1 2 3 4 5	Naked Statue Two old ladies are walking through a museum and got separated. When they ran into each other later the first old lady said to the second, "Oh My! Did you see that statue of the naked man back there?" ... 1 2 3 4 5
Stiff Drink Pfizer Corp. announced today that VIAGRA will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for ... 1 2 3 4 5	Stone One day there were two boys playing by a stream when they saw a woman bathing naked. All of a sudden one of the boys took off running. The other boy took off after his friend. After he caught up to ... 1 2 3 4 5