I'll tell you a short poem
I'll try to make it quick.
The subject is quite simple:
The joy of having a dick.

Penises are super things
You ladies should be jealous.
An organ surrounded by sensitive skin
That's smooth and rarely hairless

It starts to grow dramatically,
When you're about thirteen.
Your testicles on either side
Your willy in between.

It dangles neatly down below
Soft, obedient and loyal.
At the slightest hint of lust,
It's ready to uncoil.

It often has a mind all of its own
It's like a wild untamed beast.
It squirms and writhes and stretches out
When you expect it least.

Sometimes, yes, it misbehaves
Erecting when it shouldn't.
A bumpy train ride sets it off
Just when you wish it wouldn't.

And during the summer,
wearing little, sunning on the beach
The slightest sight of shaking boobs
Makes it squirm just like a leech.

Handle it with love and care
For it can give great pleasure.
Has it grown since last weekend?
And when did you last measure?

Some people fret about its size
They give it lots of thought.
Is seven inches long enough?
It makes guys quite distraught.

They peek across in urinals,
To compare and try to see
But if another glances back at them
There's no way they can pee

Masturbating is a sin
That's what some folk believe.
But those are just old wives' tales
Cuz it really can relieve.

Without this fabulous organ,
No shag would be complete.
Lesbians will try their best
But must admit defeat.

It has to main bodily functions
I'm sure you'll all agree
To start a whole new life
And of course, daily to pee

But I think the thing that's marvellous
About that one eyed brute
Is that when its trying to procreate,
It knows which fluid to shoot

And always it remains with you
Until you're old and frail.
Don't take it out in public though,
Or you'll be thrown in jail.

And so to summarise I'd say with certainty
That every male loves his little friend
But girls, no matter what we do,
Please don't fold, spindle mutilate
And NEVER NEVER Bend!!!