Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room.
Worse: You're in it.

Bad: Your children are sexually active.
Worse: With each other.

Good: The teacher likes your son.
Bad: Sexually.

Good: You go to see a strip show.
Bad: Your daughter's the headliner.

Good: Your boyfriend's exercising.
Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes.

Good: Your daughter's on the Pill.
Bad: She's eleven.

Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude.
Bad: She's coming home.