For his wifes 40th birthday, Al decided to take his wife to the rodeo. He had managed to get hold of 2 V.I.P passes that would let them have a guided tour around the bull pens before the start. |
One afternoon a little girl returned from school, and announced that her friend had told her where babies come from. Amused, her mother replied, "Really, sweetie, why don't you tell me all about it?" ... |
A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The woman of the house decided to give their butler, Jeeves, the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late, and that he should ... |
An old man went in to see the doctor and said, "Doc, I'm turning eighty tomorrow. I've hired a hooker for the night, and I'd love to do it just one more time before I die. Can you give me something ... |
A salesman in a strange city was feeling horny and wanted release. He inquired for the address of a good house of ill repute. He was told to go to 365 East West Street. |
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? |
A prostitute went to visit a colleague in the hospital just before she was about to have a heart transplant. The woman, concerned about her friend's welfare, went up to the surgeon who was going to ... |
One morning while making breakfast, a man walks up to his wife and pinches her on her butt and says, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." |
Since the wife is eight months into her pregnancy, the husband has to sleep on the floor to avoid any chance of contact, which could happen pretty easily, since he had been desperate for quite a while. |
This Month's Top Rated
XXX Jokes Of The Day
Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, when he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. ... |
An executive goes to see his doctor, complaining of feeling worn out all the time due to his long working hours. The doctor asks him a few questions about his lifestyle. |
A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. |
A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. |
A guy decides he'd like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop. After looking around he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says out loud, "Geez, I wonder ... |
One day in the convent the nuns had their morning prayer session. At the end of the prayer session the head nun stood up and addressed the rest of the nuns. She said, "There was a man in the convent ... |
Finally, a definition of Marketing that makes sense.... You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing. You're at a party with a bunch ... |
There once was a lady who was tired of living alone. So she put an ad in the paper which outlined her requirements. She wanted a man who 1) would treat her nicely, 2) wouldn't run away from her, and ... |
A scene from the movie Ruthless People. It's been a while but I'll try to retell the scene for anyone who hasn't seen it before. Danny De Vito is in his office behind his desk and is being questioned ... |
Visiting the zoo one day, a lady noticed one of the kangaroos had a huge set of balls. She couldn't believe the size of these hummers, and when the 'roo ventured close to the bars of the enclosure, ... |
One day little Susie went into her back yard and found her dog Muffles lying dead with its legs up in the air. |
About to be newlywed and still a virgin, a man asks his best of pals for help on the big night. |
Ru Paul, Bill Gates, and Roger Ebert are all struck by lightning on the same day. All three findthemselves in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. They start begging him to give them another chance ... |
The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. |
A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down, and his fly wide open. |
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