An old man went in to see the doctor and said, "Doc, I'm turning eighty tomorrow. I've hired a hooker for the night, and I'd love to do it just one more time before I die. Can you give me something ... |
Two guys are riding to work on the bus. They both see two dogs goin' at it on a lawn. One guy, who's married, looks at the other and says, "Geez, I'd give anything to do it to my wife like that." |
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road he stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing the habit to open and reveal a leg. The ... |
The doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast. As he stormed out of the house, the man angrily yelled to his wife, "You aren't that good in bed either!" |
60 Things Not to Say to a Naked Guy |
Axiom (n) |
An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She is chatting to St.Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful bloodcurdling screams. |
A prominent Columbia Maryland Yuppette had her teenage niece from New York visiting for the summer. She decided to sit down and have a talk with the girl explaining how things were done in Yuppie City. ... |
A guy went to a psychiatrist because he was having severe problems with his sex life. The psychiatrist asked him a lot of questions, but he couldn't get a clear picture of the problems. Finally he asked, ... |
XXX Jokes Of The Day
Four men got together to play golf one sunny morning. As they were heading out to the course, one of them was detained by a phone call. |
Thought this might bring a smile to your lips Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from ... |
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. |
A young couple got married. On their honeymoon, they were very anxious about having sex because they were both virgins. Because of their sexual inexperience, they were a bit uncomfortable discussing ... |
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" ... |
Tommy O'Connor went to confession and said, "Forgive me |
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?". To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called ... |
60 Things Not to Say to a Naked Guy |
a young man and woman were away on holiday in a remote village, |
A teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother. "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?" |
Two of Clinton's sperm are swimming around in Monica, when one of the sperm looks at the other and says," Hey I think we are coming close to the ovaries"... the other looks at the other sperm and says," ... |
This guy fell asleep on the beach one day and the wind came up and blew sand all over him until he was covered with only his big toe sticking out. |
A man walked up to a farm house and knocks on the door. When a woman opened the door, the man ask if she knew how to have sex. Not amused, she slammed the door. Again, though, the man knocked, and asked ... |
It's a bummer to be an egg because... |
A woman who had been twice married and divorced was fed up. Her first husband was violent, and her second husband ran off with another woman. |